The year 2011 ended for me on November 18, 2011. On the night of November 17, my Mama, Helen B. Butler, went to sleep for the final time. She never woke up. To say that your world changes when you lose your Mama is the ultimate understatement.
Mama had been terminally ill for almost 20 years. Nevertheless, her death was surprising in it’s timing and devastating in scope. I’ve prepared myself for years and I’ve known that her death would change my life but I could never have imagined the depth of the hole left inside of me nor the amount of loss that I would feel.

The holidays came and went and to be honest, I don’t recall a lot about them. I participated & did my duties but it was almost like an out of body experience. I was present. I just wasn’t there. The same could be said for my Real Estate career. Much like Christmas and New Years, I did my duties (for the most part) and made sure my to do list stayed in some semblance of respectable order but I wasn’t there for most of it. I was grieving and determined not to compartmentalize it but to do it honestly even if it got ugly. Thankfully, it didn’t.The days, weeks and now, months have passed. The pain, while always there, is manageable. The hole is being filled daily with memories of love and lessons taught and the sense of loss continues to be transformed into a sense of purpose. Purpose to love unconditionally, work untiringly and live honestly.
The greatest legacy that my Mama left me is the ability to love people. Those I know and those who I don’t know, yet. My life is full of love. I have an incredibly beautiful (on the inside and out!) wife and daughter and a grown son who I’m so proud of though we’re not as close as I’d like. I live each day and work diligently to be a better man than yesterday. I will be an excellent husband and mate. I will be as good of a father to Emma Rose as my Mama was a mother to me. I will learn what the boundaries are and how to build a relationship with a grown man who grew up without me to support him in his life. I have a wonderful brother-in-law & sister-in-law from my wife’s side of our family that I love dearly. Lastly, I share a special and unique relationship with my sisters and their husbands and our sense of family is stronger today than ever. I will, in the not too distant future, find a way for us all to live close to each other again so we can enjoy our golden years by getting on each others’ nerves!
So as January comes to an end and we’re ready to get into February, my year is beginning and I want to wish you a Happy New Year! I look forward to the “new normal” for me and my family. I am embracing the changes in life that living with Mama’s memory and without her physical presence will bring. I will revel in the fact that I represent all of the best qualities passed down from Mama and be the man she raised me to be; a loving husband and father, a successful business owner and a man you’ll be glad to call your friend. Happy New Year, y’all!

In Loving Memory Of Helen B. Butler ~ January 16, 1936-November 18, 2011